Beyond Busyness: Making Room For Growing Disciples

By Allen Kleine Deters | KD Formation Group

Church life can be busy.

There is always something going on in the church it seems. As pastors and leaders there are services to prepare, volunteers to recruit and train, groups to organise, meetings to attend, and events to promote. And let’s not forget there is always someone asking for help of some kind or another.

Sometimes the church calendar looks like it needs its own pastoral care appointment.

Much of that activity is good. People are being welcomed, children are being loved and cared for, Scripture is being taught, and practical needs are being met. Those things matter deeply.

But after forty years in ministry, I believe there is a question we need to keep bringing to the table:

Are we helping people become more like Jesus?

A full calendar cannot answer that question for us.

Neither can a full building.

When participation becomes our definition of growth

It is easy to measure what we can count. How many people attended—butts in pews, as some would say? How many joined a group? How many volunteered? How many completed the course?

Those numbers can help us understand what is happening in our church. They represent people, and people matter. These numbers only tell us about participation. We still need to discover what that participation is producing if anything at all.

Someone can attend faithfully, serve enthusiastically, and know a great deal about the Bible while struggling to forgive, surrender control, or trust God outside the church building.

That does not make them a fraud. It makes them a person who needs ongoing formation—just like the rest of us.

The problem comes when we assume that because someone is involved, they must be growing.  Let me repeat that, we can easily assume that because someone is involved, they must be growing.

We may be giving people plenty to do without helping them recognise what Jesus wants to change.

People attend events, concerts, the theatre, the mall, courses, conferences, and workshops all the time. Our culture creates consumers and it is no different in the church. Everyone who comes to the church is a consumer of sorts.

As church leaders we must be very aware of whether we are merely seeking to appease the needs and wants of the consumer or challenge people to deepen their life with Christ.

Alan Hirsch challenges the consumer approach to faith with these words:

“I have come to the dreaded conclusion that we simply cannot consume our way into discipleship. Consumerism as it is experienced in the everyday and discipleship as it is intended in the scriptures are simply at odds with each other. And both aim at the mastery over our lives, only in marketing it's called brand loyalty or brand community.” (The Forgotten Ways, Hirsch, 2006, p.110)

That is a sobering thought. We can consume sermons, podcasts, conferences, and Bible studies, yet leave significant areas of our lives untouched by what we are hearing.

Eventually, we have to ask what we are doing with what we know.

Jesus invited people into a way of life

When Jesus called His disciples, He invited them to follow Him.

They listened to His teaching, certainly. They also watched Him pray, welcome outsiders, respond to criticism, show compassion, and make space for people everyone else seemed happy to overlook.

Then He involved them. He gave them opportunities to practise, make mistakes, ask questions, and learn.

Their formation happened as they shared life with Him.

In Matthew 28:19–20, Jesus commissions His followers to make disciples and teach them to obey His commands. There is an important difference between knowing what Jesus said and learning to live it.

A course can teach us about forgiveness. Walking alongside someone as they wrestle with forgiving a person who deeply hurt them brings that teaching into the reality of life.

A sermon can explain generosity. A trusted conversation can help someone recognise the fear that keeps their hands tightly closed.

Meaningful spiritual formation involves the Holy Spirit changing our desires, beliefs, character, and actions as we learn to trust and obey Jesus. Scripture, prayer, worship, community, and service all have a place in that process.

The question is whether we are helping people connect those practices with the lives they actually live.

What happens when everyone goes home?

In his article “3 Key Environments to All-of-Life Discipleship,” Jeff Vanderstelt describes discipleship in terms of three environments: “life on life, life in community, and life on mission.” His emphasis is on following Jesus together throughout ordinary life.

“We have to get close. We have to be seen and known. This is what we call life-on-life discipleship—life that is lived up close so that we are visible and accessible to one another, so that others can gently peel back the layers and join us in our restoration.”

That brings discipleship into the kitchen, the workplace, the neighbourhood, and the difficult conversation we have been avoiding.

What happens when someone loses their job? When a marriage becomes strained? When anxiety rises? When a neighbour needs help at a deeply inconvenient time?

These are places where faith becomes visible and where we need others to walk with us.

Caesar Kalinowski puts it plainly in “Discipleship Beyond the Topical Checklist”:

“I think we’ve overcomplicated discipleship… and sort of dumbed it down to a set of learnings and head knowledge instead of an experience with others of how the gospel of Jesus speaks into and shapes a million little things that all add up to the life we were created to live: His life…. discipleship is the normal lifestyle for a Christian”

I appreciate that word normal. Following Jesus belongs in the ordinary rhythms of life.

There is something deeply encouraging about that. We do not need to wait until we have a microphone, a ministry title, or an opening in the church calendar. We can listen, pray, share a meal, offer practical help, and talk honestly about what God is teaching us.

In Becoming a Contagious Christian, Mark Mittelberg describe a lesson he learned after inviting a neighbour to a church event before they really knew each other: “The Barbecue-First Principle.” (Hybels, Mittelberg, 2006. p.98)

I love that — Barbecue first! If you are already making supper or throwing some burgers on the grill, why not invite a neighbour or coworker over? They have to eat too. Share a meal, listen to their story, and enjoy getting to know them. Table fellowship goes a long way.

Missional living grows here too. As Jesus forms us, we become more attentive to the people around us. We begin to see neighbours and coworkers as people to know and love. We learn to speak about our hope in Christ with humility and confidence.  We become Gospel Fluent — able to share God’s story and truths, and how those have interacted with our story. (This is a future article).

A church can fill so many evenings that its people have very little time left to build those relationships.

That deserves an honest conversation.

Look for fruit—and give it time

Paul’s description of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22–23 gives us a helpful picture of growth: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

These qualities show up in relationships.

We see them when someone takes responsibility instead of shifting blame. When a leader receives correction with humility. When a person begins praying through a decision rather than simply reacting. When someone notices a lonely neighbour and makes room at the table.

We also see growth when people become more willing to admit that they need help.

Spiritual maturity does not mean having a polished testimony and no more struggles and problems. Sometimes the most significant step forward is an honest conversation that begins, “I’m having a hard time, and I don’t want to carry this alone.”

Fruit takes time.

We cannot reduce the work of the Spirit to a score or demand visible progress on our preferred schedule. But we can pay attention. We can listen for stories of changed relationships, growing trust, courageous obedience, and people helping others follow Jesus.

Those stories belong in our leadership conversations alongside attendance and finances.

A few better questions

For church leaders, this may mean pausing before adding the next initiative and asking:

• What does growing maturity in Christ look like in our church?

• Do people have relationships where they can be known, challenged, and supported?

• Are we helping people practise what they hear and learn?

• Does our ministry schedule leave room for family, rest, hospitality, and relationships beyond the church?

• Are people becoming equipped to help someone else follow Jesus?

  
  

These questions can help us examine an existing ministry with fresh eyes.

A small group, for example, can move through excellent material every week while leaving little room for anyone to talk about their actual life. A simple change might be to ask, “Where did you try to put this into practice? What happened? How can we help?”

Then follow up next time.

That small shift makes space for encouragement, accountability, prayer, and shared learning. The teaching begins to take root.

Give people room to grow

I have a deep respect for pastors, ministry leaders, and volunteers who pour themselves into their churches. Many are already carrying a great deal. This conversation should help us discern where to invest our energy.

At KD Formation Group, this is why we begin with honest reflection and assessment. We want to understand how a church’s leadership, culture, relationships, and ministry pathways are helping people follow Jesus—and where people may be getting stuck.

Sometimes the next faithful step is to strengthen an existing ministry. Sometimes it is to simplify the schedule. Sometimes it is to equip a few people to walk intentionally with others.

We can begin by gathering a small group of leaders, listening to people’s experiences, and choosing one change that creates more room for meaningful formation.

A busy church may be growing disciples. Wonderful—let’s recognise and strengthen what is bearing fruit.

But busyness alone cannot tell us that.

We need to look closely at the people entrusted to our care. Are they learning to trust Jesus, becoming more like Him, loving their neighbours, and helping others follow Him?

That is growth worth making room for.

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If you would like to explore this further with us, take our Disciple-Making Quick Scan. We also have a deeper Discipleship Assessment your whole church can take. It helps to begin the important conversations.

If you’re a church leader and would like to explore how we can support you in developing a stronger focused disciple-making culture, contact us and we’ll have you fill out our more extensive intake form, and set up a time for a free initial consultation.

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